Blog 5 – Being Comfortable with Yourself

Here's our February blog from our Expert by Experience Amy. This month she's written about being comfortable with yourself.

As February arrives and Valentine's Day is only a few weeks away, people will start to be open about their relationships and how they wish to find a lover. For neurodivergent individuals, social interactions and relationships are extremely challenging, never mind a romantic relationship!

During February it's important to remember that the relationship you have with yourself is the most important. It doesn't matter if you find yourself in a relationship; if you can't look after yourself you can't fully look after someone else.

I'm going to list a few ways that can help you improve the relationship you have with your self.

1. Accepting that comparison will never help you or bring you closer to your goals. Comparing yourself to others is pointless! We are all unique in our habits, our likes/dislikes and even our genetics! If we all behaved the same we still wouldn't achieve the same goals or look the same.

2. Work with yourself not against yourself. By this I mean accepting your strengths and struggles and valuing them. As a neurodivergent individual, I (and I suspect many others) feel embarrassed or ashamed about my struggles. For example, eye contact is a no go for me but sometimes it can feel silly to struggle with eye contact (it's not!). But we all have to remind ourselves that working from a place of acceptance (which for me is looking at people's eyebrows instead of eyes) will better your mental health and therefore your abilities.

3. Set realistic goals. Having goals is great but often people have extremely high expectations of themselves. This can lead to dissatisfaction and negative self-belief. To help prevent this, you can set appropriate goals. For example, if you were struggling to get out of bed, instead of setting a goal to leave the house every day, you could set a goal to leave your bedroom for an hour each day. The most important aspect of this is celebrating all the achievements. This will help maintain positive self-beliefs and aid motivation.

4. Similar to number 2, accommodate your needs. This could mean bringing ear defenders, fidget toys, taking breaks to spend time alone or engaging in your special interest. This is a form of self-care and not something to feel embarrassed about.

Thank you for reading this article.

Make sure to look after yourself and remember, asking for help is always okay.

If you or a loved one are in crisis/are a danger to yourself or others call 999, attend A+E or call your local crisis team.